I want people to talk crap, make fun, snicker behind my back and laugh AT me when I walk away.
I want to stutter, fumble and go blank when I get up to speak in a room full of people.
I want to post a question and get no response, insta a photo and get no love, tell a joke and have no one laugh. Not even my mom.
“Hey, leave a comment!” ZERO COMMENTS.
I want to cry (and let my voice go all shaky) when someone confronts me and I’m uncomfortable. Or when I have to do something that makes me nervous.
I want to cry ALOT. with friends, strangers, alone and in company. I wanna UGLY cry. BooHoo. LOUD. in workshops, classes, meetings and therapy. Whenever it strikes me.
I want to look stupid.
I want to be wrong, make BIG mistakes… HUGE. and fail. EPIC FAIL. like 1,000,000 times.
I’ll get to be
I’ll get to be me.
Can that be enough (even if no one approves and everyone watches)?
Happy October xo